By ANNE R. KEY
If you refuse to join the green movement, then stick with me—the Old Southerner, who casts a wary eye at all this so-called sustainability stuff. I’m a straight talker, and I love writing about what pisses me off, especially when it comes to self-righteous do-gooders.
Last year I moved to Hardin County, Kentucky, which is turning out to be the armpit of the world. For those of you unfamiliar with the area, Hardin County is where you will find one of the most preposterous pinko liberal policies in existence: government-mandated garbage pickup.
That’s right, folks. In Hardin County, you are forced to pay for garbage disposal whether you need it or not. Once a week, the large, white socialist rubbish truck roars through our neighborhood to collect the trash of every warm-blooded American in the county, all for the mandated monthly fee of $18.38. Ridiculous!
How the hell did this happen? Let me guess. Big Brother wants to sift through my trash to find out if I’m harboring terrorists, or if I’m involved in some type of terrorist plot myself. Is that it?
And you thought socialist health care was bad! As a hard-working, tax-paying American, I am deeply disturbed by Big Government forcing me to purchase a service I don’t need. My family doesn’t make trash. We only only buy recyclable stuff because it helps the kids with their scout programs. Plus, we try not to buy plastic because–hello, McFly–we don’t want to support the terrorists’ oil that goes into making it. We compost a lot of kitchen scraps, which is great for our Victory Garden, and the paper gets burned in a big barrel out back.
So why do I have to pay for this service? What’s next? Mandated Internet service?